Jealousy

Is not an emotion I feel very often, not as one as intense as I feel now. The thoughts on my head swarm like pixels in a static screen; The doubt, self critical thoughts, and the like. I don't know what I like about this person so much to make me feel this way. Is this what love feels like? I've never felt this way about someone before, and I have no idea how to express it. I've manipulated people's wills and emotions for this person, yet... The gods are just as fallible as the humans.

Memories

I know that were supposed to learn and grow from out memories but for some reason mine are all jumbled together and repressed. Its like I don't even remember a large chunk of my life like it was wasted. I'm trying to develop more and more towards self actuality but I'm confused as to what is really my inner self. I don't even remember most the music that I listened to when I was 13. I feel... or do I ?